Be A Lotus

Confucius says – “BE A LOTUS” which means, no matter how ugly, how evil, and
how sinful everyone around you might become, do not allow yourself to be
stained. A lotus remains beautiful even as it lingers in the filthy waters
of the pond. Don’t be contaminated; do not be influenced by worthless
means. Remain radiant among the shadows of darkness. Be a lotus… it
has to start with one to fill the pond with more…

My dad told me that “I thrive in adversity.”

Do I?

I told him that at this moment, it may seem that way. But I would not want or like it that way all the time (or most of the time). That I’d also like to thrive in clear waters; since one can’t see well when the water you’re thriving on or swimming in is murky.

Well, I can’t deny that the beginning of 2007 had been murky. A break-up, some financial constraints, being physically present for my family yet being emotionally far away, and again being away from my family to prove to them that I know what I want and that is to get the job that I really, really dreamed of... and entailing the sacrifice of not being with them.

It’s almost midyear… I passed the NCLEX, I have a satisfactory band score in IELTS, and I can’t deny that fact that I’m still waiting for some more of those unexpected victories that I’m hoping and praying (and saying countless novenas) for…

Things are a bit clearer now. It’s not crystal clear though. But, it’s a start. It has to start with something somehow.

I really am thankful for my family who supports and loves me all the way (despite the fact that they sometimes get hurt and are constantly worried for their silently-rebelling daughter); I am thankful for my best friend, my manong, my confidante for knowing me and my qualms (and doing his best to understand the unexpected and twisted way my mind works); I am thankful for my friends for worrying about the things that I do, the things that I choose to go through, and the things that I insist on doing (because they feel that I might revert to feeling miserable all over again).

Soon, when the soil and sand settle – when everything falls into place – all the murkiness will turn clear…

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My dad told me that “I thrive in adversity.”

Do I?

Yes I do… and I’m being what Confucius reminds us to be…

A LOTUS!

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