Love has reasons that reason
cannot explain.

Nothing more to say... :-(

Equinox

Living in a world
Where seasons change

Sun is blaring
Everyone heading
To the beach
To picnics
Basking in the warmth
Enjoying every bit
Getting bronzed
Playing with waves
Cooling with kisses

Living in a world
Where seasons change

Leaves are falling
Naked trees
Collecting reds
Collecting browns
Collecting oranges
Piling em up
Diving onto them
Wonderful silhouettes
Shadows playing in the light

Living in a world
Where seasons change

Cold feet and hands
Yet a wonderful feeling
Making snow angels
Throwing snowballs
Laughing heartily
Keeping warm
Tasty coffees
Bittersweet
Tastier hot chocolates
Burning tongue tips

Deep snow
Not what I expected
Got frostbite
Got numb
Mittens
Socks
Windbreakers
Ear muffs
Still no warmth

Living in a world
Where seasons change

Melting cold
Rain is falling
Starts to get warm

Now it's spring

Till It Happens To You

By: Corinne Bailey Rae

I know, what I said
Was heat of the moment
But there’s a little truth
In between the words we've spoken
It’s a little late now
To fix a heart that’s broken
Please don’t ask me where I'm going
Coz I don’t know
No I don’t know anymore

It used to feel like heaven
It used to feel like May
I used to hear those violins playing
Our strings like a symphony
Now they've gone away

Nobody wants to face the truth
But you won’t believe what love can do
'Til it happens to you
'Til it happens to you

Went to, the old flyer
Guess I was trying to turn the clock back
How come that nothing feels the same
Now when I’m with you
We used to stay up all night
In the kitchen when our love was new
Oooh
Love, am I a fool to believe in you
Coz I don’t know
No I don’t know anymore

It used to feel like heaven
It used to feel like May
I used to hear those violins playing
Our strings like a symphony
Now they've gone away

Nobody wants to face the truth
Until their hearts broken
Don’t you dare tell them what you think to do
'Til they get over
You can only learn these things from experience
When you get older (when u get older you'll understand)
I just wish that someone would've told me

Peeling the feelings from my heart a little at a time...

I had to call him up for the last time...

I had been very hopeful ever since I left, I thought that "WE" would still have a chance...

And I had to hear it from him, first hand, if we could still be together...

"I'm in-love with someone else." "I don't love you anymore." "Why are we still talking about this?"

I guess, with those sentences, it is quite clear that there would be no more "him and me".

-----

After our talk, I felt relieved.

Then, I did my laundry.

A ritual...

It may be doing laundry, or washing plates, or cleaning the bathroom... just to get the feel of soap and water in my hands. There is something in soap and water that makes me feel "cleansed" and "free" from whatever emotion that I am feeling during moments such as these.

-----

My Holidays was not what I had expected. It would be our 9th Christmas and New Year in this relationship. But we were having a rough time. I was very busy with my schedule, studying for an upcoming exam, feeling anxious with events that I wasn't expecting. His schedule was busy, too. With an upcoming year, a change in shifts and rotations, and with new duties and responsibilities to work on.

I was patient. I just thought that this rough spot in our relationship would be something that we can smooth over after this chaotic situation that both of us are in. I thought that we just needed the space between us because we are still adjusting with the things that are unexpectedly happening.

But I was wrong. Oh boy, I was totally wrong!

-----

It took me some time to feel something. I felt numb. I can't cry. I refuse to cry. I was hopeful. I want him back in my life. I was trying desperately to think of ways on how to get him back.

I was pathetic.

-----

Loving someone who are good to us is easy, but to love those who hurt us and do bad to us is something that goes against our very human nature. And before we can love them, we first have to forgive them, which in itself is a task difficult enough.

-----

Yet, because of the love that I had for him, and the companionship that we've shared for one-third of our lives, forgiving him -- albeit onerous -- was an achievement on my part.

And despite the hurt that I felt, I was thankful that something like this happened early in our lives, than having some dreams realized and then seeing them washed away like sandcastles along the shore.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE FREE?

I feel that I am currently locked up in a feeling that I know I should be setting myself free from. I am lost. I am chained up. I can't move on.

It might be because I have been with him for 9 years and then suddenly I had to let go. So, I made a choice to let him go. A difficult choice, yes, but I know that it would be doubly difficult to stay in our relationship when it would mean that I, not WE, would think of ways to make it work.

I find myself refusing to look straight ahead. I'm stuck here... with thoughts and questions, and with no answers. And if they do have answers, I know that these answers would basically hurt me.

I am free from this relationship. I know this by now. But why do I find myself refusing to free myself with this feelings that I have for him?

When will I ever be free?

Simple Things...

Sand In-between the Toes... Simple pleasures in life that we seldom see... and unconsciously brush off when we need to put our shoes back on... However, there are times, they tend to be irritating and make us feel uncomfortable... These tiny specks of sand... they need not be left unnoticed for so long...
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Welcome to my blog... ^_^ Read the ups and downs of my life... The sand in-between my toes...